Demon Box

The television, that insidious beast, that Medusa which freezes a billion people to stone every night, staring fixedly, that Siren which called and sang and promised so much and gave, after all, so little.  (Ray Bradbury)

I was delighted to be back in the land of television, not having seen any for the past two months; until I somehow found myself watching Win a Date with Tad Hamilton.  Yep, that’s what happens when I have access to the demon box.  We did watch an interesting movie, Swimming Pool.  After Swimming Pool ended Brad went downstairs to his office and I stayed on my couch, inert and with barely any brain wave activity.  T.V. is not a good thing for me.  I did manage to pull myself away after about 20 minutes, and I think my brain is firing again.  A near escape..

I just said to Brad, "You’re my Tad Hamilton," and he said, "You’re so sweet."  I said, "You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?" and he said, "No idea."  Not very in touch with pop culture.  I’m going to try to reduce my own knowledge of pop culture.  No more t.v. for this week.  I’ll watch some of the US Open tennis coverage because I really love tennis; but none of this plopping on the couch to see if anything interesting is on.  ‘Cause it’s just not.  I’m going to keep reading, making my way through the Read Me shelves here at home.

Swimming Pool

Just watched my first artsy, indie, foreign language movie since sometime in June.  I had Tivoed Swimming Pool back in May, and after trolling around the 500+ channels available to us on the magical satellite t.v. and finding precisely nothing of interest, resorted to watching pre-recorded stuff.  This is a French movie, starring Charlotte Rampling as a British mystery writer who is in a bit of a lull.  She goes to her publisher’s house in the south of France for a restorative break, and encounters the publisher’s daughter, played by French actress Ludivine Sagnier who is hot, hot, hot in that surly, naked breasted, cigarette smoking, slightly unwashed French way.  The narrative is quite engrossing until precisely 90 minutes into the movie, when it took a completely unbelievable turn and lost me.  When you discover a dead body in the toolshed in the garden, you call the police, don’t you?  I would.

One of the recurring motifs in the movie is of women writing their way to sanity, which I really like.  And I like the curmudgeonly, cranky writer character.  But I get weary of these movie ideas that sex is merely a tool, and a way for powerful women to manipulate poor befuddled men.  There are a lot of beautiful visuals, and nice scenes of daily life in the Luberon, shopping in the village and spending time in a cafe.  There are scenes which transform part-way through and reveal themselves to be flashes of imagination and not the "reality" of the scene.  Part of the intrigue of the movie is that it’s difficult to tell how much of it is "real" narrative and how much of it happens only in the writer’s imagination.

Probably ready for an action/adventure movie now — or maybe we’ll watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, which is queued up in the Tivo.

Going Home

Brad and I are procrastinating doing the packing and preparing the summer house for winter before we head home to Boulder tomorrow.  There’s not really that much to do, especially since we leave most of our clothes and books here — but I’m unable to leave the various and sundry papers (New Yorker essays, fashion magazine layouts, advertisements, personal correspondence) that I collect about me wherever I go in a kind of nest.  I think that makes me a pack rat.  I bought nice new boxes from the post office and will fill them tonight and ship them tomorrow. 

I am ready to go home.  Here’s part of the reason: Boulder weather and Homer weather

And the other parts are my dogs and friends and family and house and community and life..

iPod Shuffle

Listening to the band Equation performing the song Communion, which is the first item in the playlist I created this afternoon for my brand new iPod Shuffle.  This is a complete fantasy toy, which plays only songs I really love.  I’ve mostly loaded rowdy rock-n-roll since I plan to wear this while exercising and good tunage makes the miles pass more quickly.  It’s great for those Soundgarden/Creed/Staind/Fuel-type CD’s where I only love a couple of songs on the whole CD.  I’m curious to see what the battery life is, and whether the metal earbud things bother my ears (more than the loud volume setting??!).  Love Apple, love my iPod, thinking I’m going to love my Shuffle.  After the week I’ve had, it’s great to be rockin’ out..

Tough Week

This past Monday my sister’s fiance had an emergency surgery for adult intussusception, which was quite scary and bad.  My very best friend in the world (besides Brad) found out late last week that she has cervical cancer, which is quite scary and bad.  And then today, following a successful surgery and recovering nicely, my sister’s fiance was diagnosed with Burkitt’s lymphoma, which is quite scary and bad.  We’re mostly waiting to find out next steps and gathering information and scheduling series of tests — but needless to say it has been a really tough day today. 

Faith in Science

David Cowan has written a genius post revealing the liberal, secular bias of the mainstream media

Or not. 

I’ve known David for more than 15 years, suddenly.  I remember having a conversation with him at his parents’ house in New Rochelle about consciousness and AI.  His family graciously offered their hospitality to Brad and I when we were in town for Brad’s cousin’s bar mitvah, which is an opportune time for lively discussions.  David was arguing that consciousness was essentially a matter of processor speed.  I challenged him to explain what religious belief was about, and why he attended temple.  Seems like maybe David doesn’t go to temple anymore.  David is an excellent breakfast conversationalist. 

I’ve had several conversations recently about faith and belief and the differences between knowledge and belief.  I believe in science, especially physics; which is quite beyond my rational intellectual abilities to claim to know in any strong philosophical sense — but I believe physics is how the universe really works.  I used to define myself as a skeptic and an agnostic / secular humanist.  After the last election, I’m more skeptical than ever; but I’ve moved to defining myself as an atheist, at least partly because I didn’t want to coast along in some comfortable middle ground without being able to clearly articulate my thoughts and position, especially as our country drifts into prayer across the land.  It’s interesting how much more strongly and negatively some people react to atheist than agnostic.

I share David’s admiration for Richard Dawkins.  Here is Dawkins’ quote from the Wiki page on strong atheism, which nicely sums up why I made the transition from agnostic to atheist:

Agnostic conciliation, which is the decent liberal bending over backward to concede as much as possible to anybody who shouts loud enough, reaches ludicrous lengths in the following common piece of sloppy thinking. It goes roughly like this: You can’t prove a negative (so far so good). Science has no way to disprove the existence of a supreme being (this is strictly true). Therefore, belief or disbelief in a supreme being is a matter of pure, individual inclination, and both are therefore equally deserving of respectful attention! When you say it like that, the fallacy is almost self-evident; we hardly need spell out the reductio ad absurdum. As my colleague, the physical chemist Peter Atkins, puts it, we must be equally agnostic about the theory that there is a teapot in orbit around the planet Pluto. We can’t disprove it. But that doesn’t mean the theory that there is a teapot is on level terms with the theory that there isn’t.   

Logic and the difficulties of negative proofs make for fun conversations, but don’t appear often in the political actions of religious groups, which is why I support Freedom from Religion Foundation and Americans United for Separation of Church and State, who are doing interesting work. 

And from the long and lively chain of comments following his post, David responds with a fantastic quote from Douglas Adams, who mirrors Dawkins’ thinking:

Comment:  David – you must be "God" because you make declarative statements that intelligent design is mythology, fable, fairy tale, etc. You’ve essentially stated that intelligent design is patently false, a figment of our imagination. How can you prove it? You can’t. So, at the very least, be intellectually fair and call it a "theory", but to automatically declare an absolute negative is to presume your omniscience.

David’s response: I can’t respond any more clearly than Douglas Adams did, when he responded to the following question:

Mr. Adams, you have been described as a “radical Atheist.” Is this accurate?

Adams: Yes. I think I use the term radical rather loosely, just for emphasis. If you describe yourself as “Atheist,” some people will say, “Don’t you mean ‘Agnostic’?” I have to reply that I really do mean Atheist. I really do not believe that there is a god – in fact I am convinced that there is not a god (a subtle difference). I see not a shred of evidence to suggest that there is one. It’s easier to say that I am a radical Atheist, just to signal that I really mean it, have thought about it a great deal, and that it’s an opinion I hold seriously. It’s funny how many people are genuinely surprised to hear a view expressed so strongly. In England we seem to have drifted from vague wishy-washy Anglicanism to vague wishy-washy Agnosticism – both of which I think betoken a desire not to have to think about things too much.

People will then often say “But surely it’s better to remain an Agnostic just in case?” This, to me, suggests such a level of silliness and muddle that I usually edge out of the conversation rather than get sucked into it. (If it turns out that I’ve been wrong all along, and there is in fact a god, and if it further turned out that this kind of legalistic, cross-your-fingers-behind-your-back, Clintonian hair-splitting impressed him, then I think I would chose not to worship him anyway.)

Other people will ask how I can possibly claim to know? Isn’t belief-that-there-is-not-a-god as irrational, arrogant, etc., as belief-that-there-is-a-god? To which I say no for several reasons. First of all I do not believe-that-there-is-not-a-god. I don’t see what belief has got to do with it. I believe or don’t believe my four-year old daughter when she tells me that she didn’t make that mess on the floor. I believe in justice and fair play (though I don’t know exactly how we achieve them, other than by continually trying against all possible odds of success). I also believe that England should enter the European Monetary Union. I am not remotely enough of an economist to argue the issue vigorously with someone who is, but what little I do know, reinforced with a hefty dollop of gut feeling, strongly suggests to me that it’s the right course. I could very easily turn out to be wrong, and I know that. These seem to me to be legitimate uses for the word believe. As a carapace for the protection of irrational notions from legitimate questions, however, I think that the word has a lot of mischief to answer for. So, I do not believe-that-there-is-no-god. I am, however, convinced that there is no god, which is a totally different stance and takes me on to my second reason.

I don’t accept the currently fashionable assertion that any view is automatically as worthy of respect as any equal and opposite view. My view is that the moon is made of rock. If someone says to me “Well, you haven’t been there, have you? You haven’t seen it for yourself, so my view that it is made of Norwegian Beaver Cheese is equally valid” – then I can’t even be bothered to argue. There is such a thing as the burden of proof, and in the case of god, as in the case of the composition of the moon, this has shifted radically. God used to be the best explanation we’d got, and we’ve now got vastly better ones. God is no longer an explanation of anything, but has instead become something that would itself need an insurmountable amount of explaining. So I don’t think that being convinced that there is no god is as irrational or arrogant a point of view as belief that there is. I don’t think the matter calls for even-handedness at all.

David’s post also talks about George Gilder’s thinking.  Gilder appears in my David Foster Wallace essay on television E Unibus Pluram:  Television and U.S. Fiction.  DFW (p. 76):

Oh God, I’ve just reread my criticisms of Gilder.  That he is naive.  That he is an ill-disguised apologist for corporate self-interest.  That his book has commercials.  That beneath its futuristic novelty it’s just the same old American same-old that got us into this televisual mess.  That Gilder vastly underestimates the intractability of the mess.  Its hopelessness.  Our gullibility, fatigue, disgust.  My attitude, reading Gilder, has been sardonic, aloof, depressed.  I have tried to make his book look ridiculous (which it is, but still).  My reading of Gilder is televisual.

In the meantime, I’m closely exploring the theology of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Cocoa Puffs

I just had my first ever bowl of Cocoa Puffs cereal.  Yum.  I’m not sure why I’ve never had this delicious chocolate sugar bomb stuff before, but it’s delicious.  Brad threw a box into the grocery cart while we were frolicking in Safeway, and has introduced me to an entirely new world.  I’m bouncing around and jiggling my legs and feeling quite frisky.  Kids should eat this sugar stuff every day.  Wheeeee!

Birdies

I’m somewhat surprised that Brad’s Toy of the Month wasn’t our magical new alarm clock, which instead of blasting a borderline-heart-attack-inducing-air-raid sound, plays gentle sounds of birds singing and a background of wind in the trees.  It’s so nice to wake up slowly and easily and keep the calm resting heart rate a little while longer.  For city mice, it has the option to play street sounds for those who get disoriented waking up without feeling like they’re in a megalopolis.  I’ll take the birdies..

Science Experiments

Brad and I went to the grocery store together tonight, and I said we needed more of those plastic containers designed for storing leftovers in the refrigerator.  He asked if I was planning on cleaning out the science experiment that last weekend’s chili has become.  I said, "Oh, I thought those were single use containers only.  You put the food in, leave it in the fridge for a long time, and then throw the whole thing away without daring to open the lid, right?"  We had a good laugh.  And bought some more plastic containers with airtight snap on lids.

It reminded me of 8th grade Gifted and Talented where I first really fell in love with science.  I grew my own bacteria cultures on agar plates and stained them and looked at their wonders under the microscope.  The last really fun science I did was at Wellesley, doing gel electrophoresis runs and breeding Drosophila melanogaster flies

I suppose little flies are spontaneously generating in the chili which is still in the fridge.

Sestinas, DFW, and Television

Okay, in addition to leafing through old Vogue magazines, and tearing out pretty pictures, I’m still deeply hooked on David Foster Wallace.  I’m reading A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again, a collection of essays and arguments.  I love his writing, his voice, his idiosyncratic thinking, and his appalling critical clarity, especially about television.  In his essay E Unibus Pluram:  Television and U.S. Fiction, he refers (on p. 45) to a book of poetry by James Cummins called The Whole Truth, "a cycle of sestinas deconstructing Perry Mason." 

I first encountered the sestina form in college in Frank Bidart’s poetry class, and have frequently used it as a palate cleansing exercise as I wade through the swampy quagmire of my novel.  There’s something very orderly and tidy to me about the rigid formality of this form, and I can complete a decent draft in about 4 hours — which feels so good after never ever ever never finishing my damn novel.  (Yet.)

Of course, when you look around on the internet, you’re likely to find all kinds of things.  Here are some sestinas written for a contest, as well as a sestina group and forum.  No matter how quirky your taste (gotta real jones for those sestinas!?!), you’re not alone in the internet universe.

And I found a page of sestinas on McSweeney’s, which is another one of Dave Eggers‘ great things.

The irony of this whole essay for me is that I was raised in a television-free household, and have literally never seen a single episode of Perry Mason.  I’ve caught up on a lot of other t.v. in hotel rooms and at home on my own ginormous flat panel 50" screen, but not Bewitched or The Partridge Family or The Mary Tyler Moore Show or Lou Grant or any of a number of other genres and periods, including our current "reality" tv craze.  We don’t have a television here in our house in Homer, and I think of all the people I know, myself included, who all always claim not to watch "much" tv.  Two entire solid months with no tv is a far cry from the 2-3 daily hours that folks who claim "not much" tv watching seem to watch.  More time to read David Foster Wallace.  Try it sometime.