One of the many interesting things I've learned during the publishing process of Startup Life: Surviving and Thriving in a Relationship with an Entrepreneur with Brad is that publishing houses don't do the work of getting permission to reprint copyrighted material – authors are responsible for this work. Or at least our publisher doesn't do this work, and we were responsible. Neither Brad nor I realized this until about 3 weeks before our final galley proofs were due when we received an email on October 26th asking whether we had gotten reprint permission for the poems and literary quotes we had included in our drafts. Surprise. Oops.
Brad's terrific and resolute assistant, Kelly Collins, sprang into action at the beginning of November, only to discover that it takes 6-8 weeks for the permissions and our final author draft was due in 4 weeks.
I was really disappointed and unhappy with this realization since I had been the instigator of the poetry and thought it added a richness and depth to the text and supported our deep belief that words and language matter.
Surely that's what underpaid and overworked publishing interns are for?
We did receive and pay for permission to reprint a Mary Oliver poem "The Summer Day," in time, but it didn't make sense to include just one of the poems. So we pulled the poems by Mary Oliver and Wendell Berry, and quotes from Rainer Maria Rilke and Antoine St. Exupery, among others.
But Brad and I both still hold the conviction that beautiful language can connect us and give voice to emotion and thoughts that may be difficult for non-poets to express. So I am going to blog the quotes and poetry we had originally intended to include in Startup Life, as well as some additional gems that we love. Here's a poem by Wendell Berry that we intended to include in Chapter Two: Philosophy –
The Peace of Wild Things
When despair for the world grows in
me
and I wake in the night at the least
sound
in fear of what my life and my
children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood
drake
rests in his beauty on the water,
and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with
forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind
stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world,
and am free.
From The Selected Poems of Wendell Berry copyright 1998 by Wendell Berry
from Counterpoint Press, a member of Perseus Books, LLC
While this book addresses issues common to all relationships (communication, values, money, sex, children, etc.) we hope that it will be particularly useful for couples in the throes of a startup business. We dedicated the book to the believers and the empiricists: those who are willing to love. It takes a lot of energy and courage to try to create and sustain a relationship while building a startup company. We really hope that some of the concrete skills and tactics we suggest will be helpful.
The book is available on Kindle on January 29, 2013 and the hardback release date is January 22,2013 In the strange world of book publishing, advance sales orders count extra, so if you're considering reading this, please consider purchasing it before the official release dates.
Brad and I look forward to sparking conversations about how to have a happy life that includes both meaningful work and meaningful love.
I know some of you don't like lists, or are tired of year-end summaries, but I love both of those things and thought I'd make a list of my own.
Here are some of my favorite blogs of the year, in alphabetical order, since there's not really a unifying theme. I'm an omnivorous liberal artist type, so my favorites range from science and technology to knitting, with some lit-crit writing in between.
The sites, with a brief description from each site:
3 Quarks Daily: On this website, my fellow editors and guest authors and I hope to present interesting items from around the web on a daily basis, in the areas of science, design, literature, current affairs, art, and anything else we deem inherently fascinating.
Brain Pickings is the brain child of Maria Popova, an interestingness hunter-gatherer and curious mind at large, who also writes for Wired UK andThe Atlantic, among others, and is an MIT Futures of Entertainment Fellow. She gets occasional help from a handful of guest contributors. Brain Pickings is a human-powered discovery engine for interestingness, culling and curating cross-disciplinary curiosity-quenchers, and separating the signal from the noise to bring you things you didn’t know you were interested in until you are.
The Everywhereist: (My friend, Geraldine. One of the top 3 funniest people I know.) The story behind the blog. My husband’s job requires him to travel. A lot. For years, I sat behind a desk while he wandered around the world without me. It sucked for both of us, but probably more for me. Then, one day, I was laid off. It might have been one of the best things that ever happened to me. Since then, I’ve been following him around the world. This blog is mostly for him. So he can remember the places we’ve visited, the things we saw. So he can know a little bit about what I see when he’s off giving presentations and having meetings. Yes, it’s a travel blog. But at its core, it’s a love letter to my husband. A big, long, cuss-filled love letter. The kind he’d appreciate. The only kind I’m able to write.
Feld Thoughts: (My husband.) Brad is one of the managing directors at Foundry Group, a venture capital firm that invests in early stage software / Internet companies throughout the United States. He is also the co-founder of TechStars, a mentor-driven accelerator, author of several books and blogs, and a marathon runner.
The Happiness Project: Gretchen Rubin is one of the most thought-provoking and influential writers on happiness. Her books Happier at Home and The Happiness Project were both instant New York Times bestsellers, and The Happiness Project has spent more than a year on the bestseller list. Here, she writes about her adventures as she test-drives the studies and theories about how to be happier.
It's Okay to Be Smart: This is a blog about science. But it’s probably not about science the way you’re used to it. I’m a biology Ph.D. student by day, and I curate and publish everything you see here. We live in the future, and that future is one in which science impacts every part of our lives. But too many people aren’t taking part in that future. Too many aren’t taking part in science. We must teach science as more than facts. It’s a creative process, it’s an instant injection of wonderment, it’s the excitement we feel at the edge of knowledge. It’s for everyone.
The Paris Review. Founded in Paris by Harold L. Humes, Peter Matthiessen, and George Plimpton in 1953, The Paris Review began with a simple editorial mission: “Dear reader,” William Styron wrote in a letter in the inaugural issue, “The Paris Review hopes to emphasize creative work—fiction and poetry—not to the exclusion of criticism, but with the aim in mind of merely removing criticism from the dominating place it holds in most literary magazines and putting it pretty much where it belongs, i.e., somewhere near the back of the book. I think The Paris Review should welcome these people into its pages: the good writers and good poets, the non-drumbeaters and non-axe-grinders. So long as they're good.” Decade after decade, the Review has introduced the important writers of the day.
Singularity Hub: Science, Technology, The Future of Mankind. Singularity Hub is a blog and news network covering the latest in robots, genetics, longevity, artificial intelligence, aging, stem cells, and more. The singularity is the point in mankind’s future when we will transcend current intellectual and biological limitations and initiate an intelligence and information explosion beyond imagining.
Slow Love Life: I want to write about moving at a gentler, more loving pace in everything I do, learning to appreciate the beauty of everyday moments, the wisdom of thinking things over. I was forced to slow down when I lost my job–and the journey of grieving and recovery is what my book is about. Slow living led me to falling in love with the world, experiencing what I think of as slow love.
Yarn Harlot: Stephanie Pearl-McPhee goes on (and on) about knitting
Zen Habits is about finding simplicity in the daily chaos of our lives. It’s about clearing the clutter so we can focus on what’s important, create something amazing, find happiness.
Our beloved golden retriever, Kenai, died unexpectedly Wednesday morning. Brad wrote an eloquent blog post eulogizing our good dog here.
As the incredibly nice woman at Boulder Veterinary Hospital said to me, it's a "painful blessing" that he died so unexpectedly, and I'm glad I was at home and able to be with him at the end. He was 12, which is a good long life for a big dog. He had ACL surgery a couple of years ago and his legs were a little shaky, but he was full of life and energy and doggie happiness just the day before he died.
His last morning he didn't want to come downstairs for his breakfast for the first time ever. I brought his food to him and he ate it all. I canceled yoga and a morning meeting to stay with him and took this photo of him not feeling very perky, which turned out to be his last portrait. A couple of hours later he was gone -
We are obviously devastated, but Brooks and I are keeping each other company, as we will do without Kenai for the next years.
"Good dogs are with us for a little while to teach us how to love like it's our job — because it is."
This fall I've mostly been working on Startup Life: Surviving and Thriving in a Relationship with an Entrepreneur with Brad, so in my not-writing time I've been knitting. I finished a small throw blanket for my sister Wendy and sent it to her in Alaska to keep her warm while she was recuperating from hip replacement surgery.
This was a fun yarn that makes it look like each row is a different yarn when you see it up close.
I think that being able to knit is a great sign that a summer of physical therapy means that my wrist is almost healed.
I'm working again on something that might actually be for me and not a gift, but we shall see who ends up wearing it -
Even though I'm not in school, and haven't been for almost 25 years, I still feel like fall is the beginning of a new year. I'm ready to buy new pencils and tube socks for gym class and spiral notebooks; none of which I need or would ever use. And it feels like it's time for the de rigueur beginning of school essay about what I did on my summer vacation, even though I wasn't really on vacation. My sister-in-law, Laura's blog, Buckle Button Zip, has a post called Catching Up, which is what I'm going to do here.
Except for a weekend in Montana, and a week in Boulder, I spent the entire summer at our mountain house in Keystone. Brad and I are writing a book together in the series of books that he is co-authoring called Startup Revolution. Our book is calledStartup Life: Surviving and Thriving in a Relationship with an Entrepreneur which is available on Amazon for pre-order even though we haven't finished writing yet. I have a lot of writing to do!
An interesting side effect of writing is that I'm probably reading the least I've ever read since I first learned to read before kindergarten. So I'm not making any additions to my Best Books Read in 2012 list since I really haven't been reading books. Very weird for me.
I did some hiking, watched a bunch of the Olympics, ate sushi every week, and enjoyed the company of lots of terrific friends who came to visit. The weekend in Montana was for Brad's 22nd marathon. Missoula is a terrific town, and I look forward to another visit there.
The week in Boulder was mostly for my Mom's 70th birthday celebration, which was made extra special by the surprise appearance of her 3 grandkids, and the Alaska residing members of the family. The whole family hadn't been together in years, so that was really nice.
I had the last of my twice weekly physical therapy appointments for my wrist in Keystone. It's been almost 6 months since I broke it on March 7th, and it really has been a long road. I'm not able to do yoga or tennis yet, or pushups; but soon. Physical therapy is a great place to practice gratitude when there are always people there who are much more injured than I was. And PT really helped. A shout out to Jenn at Avalanche Physical Therapy for all of her encouragement and help.
Now that summer is over, I'm looking at my calendar for this semester and it looks busy. I have trips currently planned to New York on 9/7 to the US Open tennis and super fancy special dinner at Per Se for my 46th birthday with Warren and Ilana on 9/14 and art and shopping and more eating, then directly on to San Francisco, for my mother-in-law Cecelia Feld's 70th birthday and home on 9/23.
Then October is just crazy:
St. George, Utah marathon weekend
Cambridge, MA
Burlington, Vermont marathon
Detroit, Michigan marathon
Wellesley College board meetings
Kentucky for the National Horse Show
Then November:
Election Day
Palm Desert for Ernst and Young Entreneur of the Year Award ceremony
Palmilla in Cabo san Lucas for Brad's 47th birthday with a gang of friends
We will head back to Keystone in December for winter solstice and the New Year, and I will likely once again not actually want to leave there.
Current plans for 2013 include trips to Australia, Brazil, Iceland and Alaska.
I'm seriously trying to figure out whether I can have 2014 be a year of no travel. What would that be like?!?
I hope you had a terrific summer doing whatever you did!
I love living in my small town, but I also love visiting big cities and getting caught up in the hustle and bustle for a few days. Brad and I just spent 4 nights in Chicago on a Wellesley CollegeDavis Museum Friends of Art tour, which gave us access to unbelievable private art collections and stunning real estate, as well as time together with other art lovers.
We had lovely weather during most of our visit except for a drizzly Saturday. This is the view from our 26th floor hotel room. It's a city!
We also were fortunate enough to have a friend help us secure a reservation at Alinea, the temple of molecular gastronomy which was just ranked the number 7 restaurant in the world.
This post mostly consists of course by course documentation of the dining experience, so if you're not a foodie you may want to skip this one — although it's fun to watch Brad on video after experiencing his green apple helium balloon dessert.
We were among the first people seated, which turned out to be really nice because we were the first to receive each amazing new course and could have the complete element of visual surprise. We sat side by side on the banquette so that the experience felt even more like a performance. It was actually nice to be just the two of us so that we could focus on the food and not be distracted at all by conversation.
At Alinea they do a wonderful thing and give you a copy of your menu without the guests even asking.
To begin: an ice sculpture is placed on the bare table -
First food: Steelhead roe with carrot, coconut, and curry flavors
Served with Cocktail of Gimonnet Brut with St. Germain and Esterhazy Beerenauslese
Then what we called the Swamp Thing Collection: oyster leaf mignonette, king crab with passionfruit, heart of palm, allspice; mussel with saffron and oregano; razor clam with shiso, soy, daikon, served in a bed of kelp and seaweed from the Pacific.
Shells after eating, along with mystery iceberg
The server then brings a Bunsen burner machine with vegetables that the water boils up around while you're eating your next course -
A single bite for each of us -
Then a scallop "acting like agedashi tofu" with absurdly precise vegetables arrayed about –
Broth from the Bunsen burner is poured over to make soup -
Then you are presented with a rubbery ring (not from the space shuttle) -
Upon which is placed toro tuna with thai banana, sea salt, and kaffir lime foam –
Then it's time to approach the iceberg with a glass straw –
Which contains a liquid of beet, hibiscus, and licorice – a bracing palate cleanser and a signal that the flavors move from the ocean to the earth -
Burn Morel mushrooms with ramps, fiddlehead fern, miner's lettuce and a quail egg served on hot stones and a burned plank that is still warm. This was amazing, full of spring flavors -
Another earthy course: Hot potato, cold potato, black truffle, butter, served in a wax dish with the ingredients separated on a pin that you pull to let them drop into the soup and then drink in one swallow. Incredible flavors –
The empty wax cup
And after all this theater, this was the most visually intriguing part: an array of accompaniments, including candied pecan, mint jelly, cinnamon, various and sundry herbs, and a blue gel of anise
To be eaten in whatever combination the diner pleases in combination with turbot prepared 3 ways -
And the messy tray after we'd had our way with it -
Another single bite: the black truffle explosion, with broth and romaine and parmesan inside. Unbelievable –
And another performance art course. The server brings a metal vessel containing a lavender infused bath of hot water which sends the aromatic essence around. Then individual bites are placed in a display inspired by a Miro painting with silverware in the title -
As you eat each bite you place the utensil in the lavender bath so that at the end all the silverware is gathered neatly together -
The next course is served in an intriguing metal pronged device. This was Anjou pear fried with onion and brie, served on a flaming cinnamon stick. While this was visually interesting, and smelled wonderful, it was my least favorite in terms of texture and flavor -
But it's fun and dangerous to have fire at the table –
The pre-dessert palate cleanser was tiny but incredibly intense flavored assortment of gingers. My favorite was Indian influenced with turmeric and yogurt –
The metal pins after the tidbits are eaten -
The presentation of a metal straw for the first dessert course -
Blueberry with buttermilk, sorrel, and macadamia flavors –
You remove the glass stopper in the middle and liquid is poured in to make smoke and create a cold broth to complement the sweetness of the dessert flavors.
After eating -
The next dessert course is mostly for the visual mastery of a green apple balloon filled with helium -
The server told Brad to remove his glasses to prevent the sticky balloon from getting all over. I didn't love getting sticky stuff on my face, but Brad enjoyed his helium. His commentary:
The final dessert: white chocolate vessel with strawberry, English pea, and lemon powders in a signature Alinea moment -
After pouring liquid into the white chocolate vessel, the server spreads Chantilly cream, English pea, strawberry, and lemon powders as well as flower petals and tiny meringues and assorted other spring accessories to create a Monet on the table -
The server gives the white chocolate vessel a sharp thwack and shatters it and then leaves you to figure out where to begin -
And that's all, and surely, that's enough. Amazing.
I'm including a link to Brad's iPhone photos, documenting his wine pairings and giving a different perspective -
The kitchen -
And I'll take a day or two to rest and then post about our other lovely dinner at Sepia
I'm sorry we're leaving just as the Roy Lichtenstein retrospective opens at the Art Institute of Chicago. Maybe we'll make a return trip to see that and eat some more!
Now that it's almost March, I've decided it's time to start on my reading project for the year – which is to read all of the books my terrific friends gave me for my 45th birthday party back in September. I've never had reading goals (except those Read-a-thon things in elementary school) and just read whatever catches my eye from my Infinite Pile of Books. Sometimes I borrow from Brad's pile. I also like to re-read books I love or read so long ago that I'm starting to forget them. This seems to happen at an alarmingly increasing rate – the forgetting part – and I find that I see things differently each time.
I was the fortunate recipient of a plethora of books that each friend chose for me because the book was significant to them, and I think that it would be good to read those books and review them. I didn't manage to get thank you notes written for these gifts (surprise, surprise), so this is also a way of saying how thankful I am for my friends, for books and authors, for the freedom to read whatever I want.
The first book I've grabbed from the pile is The Blind Watchmaker by Richard Dawkins, given to me by David Cohen. I did already read Jil Cohen's gift book back in September, which was You Don't Know Sh*t, which I enjoyed so much I gave a copy to another scatological trivia-loving friend.
Thank you, David, for the thoughtful and surely thought provoking birthday gift -
This year winter doesn't start until 12/22 as the solstice comes on the late side, but I've been celebrating a very un-snowy time in Keystone by hiking. You can see the snow covered mountains in the background, but the hiking trail is almost entirely dry. Brooks and I had a lovely time.
I'm back in snowy frigid Boulder after a week in mostly sunny Scottsdale, and the memories of our friend-filled birthday celebration week are helping keep me warm.
On Brad's actual birthday night, we had Japanese food at Sushi Roku restaurant at the W Hotel, where they did a wonderful job of making the evening special.
The happy group:
The happy couple:
Brad wearing the beautiful scarf his mother made for him – as a headband:
Excellent tuna sashimi:
A thoroughly chocolate cake:
And fireworks:
We had a lovely experience at the Sanctuary at Camelback, playing tennis, taking advantage of the spa, and lounging by the pool and hot tub. I've always said that I can't imagine living in a place where there isn't snow in wintertime, but I may be changing my mind!
Flowers blooming in December:
The view from the pool from Casa 5:
Tennis at Casa 5:
The living room at Casa 9:
The best part of all, of course, was having friends and family gather together to celebrate. We're looking forward to next year!