Poem: The Problem of Describing Trees

The aspen glitters in the wind.

And that delights us.

The leaf flutters, turning,

Because that motion in the heat of summer

Protects its cells from drying out.  Likewise the leaf

Of the cottonwood.

The gene pool threw up a wobbly stem

And the tree danced.  No.

The tree capitalized.

No.  There are limits to saying,

In language, what the tree did.

It is good sometimes for poetry to disenchant us.

Dance with me, dancer.  Oh, I will.

Aspens doing something in the wind.

— by Robert Hass from The New Yorker, June 27, 2005 (p. 97)

Happy Groundhog Day

It’s cloudy and probably going to snow here today, but the correct groundhog, Phil,  doesn’t come out to be observed here.  It also looks cloudy where my mom lives, much closer to the neighborhood of Punxsutawney.  I think Hedgehog Day could be almost as fun as Groundhog Day, or as any of the other fun events of February 2nd — maybe the delivery of diptheria serum to Nome, Alaska in 1925 which inspired the Iditarod dogsled race.  I’ll take 6 more weeks of winter since we haven’t had enough snow this winter to stave off a high fire danger summer!

The History of Love

I’m on an airplane from Miami to Denver, surrounded by sleeping Asian people, next to Brad (sleeping, too, of course).  I hardly ever bring out my computer on an airplane since it’s a 21st century kind of mercy to have a space/time where the demand to be connected can be ignored without guilt (at least until the airlines get EVDO going everywhere); but I just finished reading The History of Love by Nicole Krauss and I wanted to write while it was still fresh in me how much I loved this book.  I went back to the beginning after I read about 100 pages to slow down as much as possible and savor the first time I read this book.  It’s a good one to read in one big breath.  I’m certain there will be many other readings.  This one goes straight to the top of my Best Books Read in 2006 List.  Number One with a bullet.

This book left me with that particular sorrowful feeling of recognizing beauty and the temporary nature of all things simultaneously.  There’s probably a German word for it (Gotterdammerung? Weltschmertz?).  It comes along with the physical symptoms of true aesthetic pleasure, which I mostly experience while listening to music, but also sometimes feel when looking at art or being in nature and watching the sunrise or sunset — or reading a beautiful book; the goose bumps on the arms and the hairs raised on the back of the neck and tears in the eyes and an opening somewhere near the heart.  Maybe it’s caused by a vibration from the music or the breath or something.  I don’t really know, but it’s the part that recognizes art.  This book creates that experience in abundance.

Ms. Krauss writes about loss and recovery from loss, missing/absent parents (both through death and emotional absence), and the Jewish heritage of the Holocaust.  She and Jonathan Safran Foer (who wrote Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, my #1 Book of 2005) are married.  Comparisons between their work are probably inevitable, and there are similarities.  Both have a gift for expressing the inner lives of children and young adults, and deal with similar themes.  And both are beautiful writers.

This book is dedicated to Ms. Krauss’ husband, and to her grandparents, with what looks like their passport photos on the dedication page, with the inscription “for my grandparents, who taught me the opposite of disappearing.”  One of the major themes of the book is about disappearance and denying.  There is a hilarious and sad passage on page 36 between Alma Singer and her brother, Bird.

WHAT I AM NOT

My brother and I used to play a game.  I’d point to a chair.  “THIS IS NOT A CHAIR,” I’d say.  Bird would point to the table.  “THIS IS NOT A TABLE.”  “THIS IS NOT A WALL,” I’d say.  “THAT IS NOT A CEILING.”  We’d go on like that.  “IT IS NOT RAINING OUT.”  “MY SHOE IS NOT UNTIED!” Bird would yell.  I’d point to my elbow.  “THIS IS NOT A SCRAPE.”  Bird would lift his knee.  “THIS IS ALSO NOT A SCRAPE!”  “THAT IS NOT A KETTLE!” “NOT A CUP!”  “NOT A SPOON!”  “NOT DIRTY DISHES!”  We denied whole rooms, years, weathers.  Once, at the peak of our shouting, Bird took a deep breath.  At the top of his lungs he shrieked:  “I!  HAVE NOT!  BEEN!  UNHAPPY!  MY WHOLE LIFE!”  “But you’re only seven,” I said.

Passages like this remind me of the deep and real sadnesses of childhood, and how much I really like being an adult.  And how much I love beautiful writing.  Put this one in your To Read pile if you  haven’t read it already.

Miami Bound

I’m off to South Beach now that football season is over.  Brad is running the Miami marathon next weekend, and we’re going down early for him to acclimate to the heat, humidity and reverse altitude effects (Too much oxygen!  Too much air pressure on the skull!).  I missed a fun weekend already.  I had made reservations at The Setai and Wish and missed out on both of those plus a Jewish Deli Food Orgy — but I’m certain Brad and I will make our own fun.

Not Quite

The Steelers scored twice as many points as the Broncos today, which is not quite what I had in mind.  At half time I thought we might be completely humiliated, but we avoided that — unlike the Panthers, who were totally dominated by the Seahawks.  I jumped up and down and yelled for my team, and had a great time at the game — not quite as fun as winning, but not bad; especially considering I thought we’d lose to the Patriots last weekend.  On to the next season..

Go Broncos!

Today’s the day I get to watch the AFC Championship Game live and in person (thanks, Howard!).  I hope the Broncos win, but mostly I hope for a good game, cleanly played with a close score.  My mom lives an hour outside of Pittsburgh and is a huge Steelers fan, so I’m not hoping for the Broncos to deliver a crushing victory (old Orange Crush pun — ha, ha ha, ha ha ha); but I sure would love to see them go to the Super Bowl!  Go Broncos!

Home Again

Sister Martha is out of the hospital and at home again, which is a good thing.  I was motivated by her health struggles to spend 2 hours on the treadmill today, covering 7.14 miles, which is two sessions of 3.57 miles.  Love those numbers.  Love being strong and healthy.  Love my sister and hope her health is only improving from here. 

Snowing Day

A snowing day is different than a snow day — a snow day means we’re getting more than a foot of snow and I’ll have to plow the driveway and put the SUV into 4-low to make it home and lots of things get cancelled and I get to stay home in my pajamas.  Today it’s just snowing, a light but steady snowfall, quite beautiful and wintery, with maybe 4 inches of accumulation so far.  I’ve taken the opportunity to reschedule my only meeting of the day in Boulder for tomorrow, and after morning yoga I put my pajamas back on.  I’ve read bunches of blog posts and back issues of Le Monde and the new issue of Vogue and had lots of cups of tea.  I love days like this.